The city... Any city. I suppose... I'm afraid of the public, people. I can't leave homw without my knife. It's a small knife, just a little jack knife, with a 3-inch blade, but it's sharp. It can hurt someone. If anyone knows that, I do. How can I not be so afraid? I don't like being tense, and always having to watch my back. But my father has always told me "Never turn your back on someone you don't trust" and "Always watch your back." My mother has been avoiding saying anything like that to me until just recently. And she's hardly said anything. My dad has been telling me these things since I was 5. And they've scared the living crap outta me, but I feel as if... If I don't listen to the things he told me, I will not live. I'm too independent to go anywhere with anyone. I don't need people with me....
ok sounds like you're scoptophobic. Scoptophobia is disorder where you are afraid of being seen, stared at, attention. That's the closest i could get to your problem. You may want to google it or see a psychologist to be sure. Btw, you're the same person who has suicidal dreams right? Maybe its linked.
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