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2nd post...r u not commenting because of the rape images?
I am posting a gain because no one seems to comment...is that cause it is bad or because it is uncomfortable or what?
Tick Tick Tick
Engulfed by you
You nurtured mad with one prick
Without desire I sit lazy
Intolerant I have grown
Tick Tick Tick sounds the crazy
Hand to mouth I will not say
My naked body thrown against the wall
Legs tied open bruised I lay
Neck to bed post by leather bound
Cry you yell cry you yell
As you tear my gown
Chuckle at me a sight of no clothes
I cannot leave
All I know is this bloody nose
Pounding your semen pours down my leg
In your boot I see a knife
Painfully I whimper and beg
My hair gripped in your hand you smother my face
I reach to floor and clutch the blade
Found guilty of murder I plea my case
thanks for the comments I shall work on it more
While I feel you are on to something with this poem, the rhyme keeps it from impacting me the way I feel you intend it to. While I am not completely opposed to rhyme, rhyming while talking about graphic subject matter often seems out of place ( not always though. It works well when the poem is meant to be ironic or satiric.)
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